Rewarding civility

I am so impressed with the Allegheny College Prize for Civility in Public Life. The award recognizes individuals who foster appreciation for the vital link between an engaged, active citizenry and a healthy democracy. The first Allegheny College Prize for Civility in Public Life was awarded to David Brooks and Mark Shields for their remarkable commitment to civil discourse. Despite their very different political views, these two gentlemen are consistently respectful and civil in their communications.

It’s my belief that the civility landscape can be shifted for the better by incorporating an important lesson from Parenting 101: When we catch our children doing something right, they need to be rewarded. B.F. Skinner taught us that lesson long ago when he concluded that positive reinforcement makes a difference and, if delivered in a meaningful way, will likely result in the behavior being repeated.

Using this principle as a starting point, my husband and I discussed various ways to reward nursing students for commitment to civility and professionalism. After several conversations, we decided to establish the Clark Civility Award to recognize nursing students who demonstrate sustained commitment to civility. The award is given each semester to a qualifying senior nursing student who exemplifies civility, respect, and professionalism at Boise State University School of Nursing, College of Health Sciences, and beyond.

There are several criteria for the award, including being a contributing member of student organizations and other relevant teams and committees, having a minimum GPA of 3.0, providing a record of service to the community and the profession, and demonstrating respect and civility toward classmates, faculty, nursing staff, patients, and families. Students receiving the award must also show collegiality, trustworthiness, and responsibility. Recipients may be self-nominated or nominated by someone else.

Mark McLaughlin and Yours Truly

Last week, Mark McLaughlin became the first recipient of the Clark Civility Award. He was nominated by a faculty member, who eloquently described McLaughlin’s contributions of outstanding service to the School of Nursing and the broader community, his unwavering respect toward others, and his commitment to teamwork and ethical conduct of the highest order. An excellent student who actively participates in his community, he shows great promise as a professional nurse and consistently goes the extra mile to provide exceptional patient care.

On Wednesday, 11 December 2013, McLaughlin accepted the award, presented by the dean of the College of Health Sciences, during a ceremony attended by his classmates, faculty members, and academic leaders from the School of Nursing. In addition to a monetary award, McLaughlin received a signed copy of my book and a professional plaque commemorating his achievements.

I hope others will be inspired to create similar awards or other ways to reward those who practice civility by catching them doing something right. Perhaps you will be inspired as I am by the words of two very influential women who encourage each of us to make a difference. The first quote comes from Anne Frank, who stated, “How wonderful that no one need wait a single moment to improve the world,” and the other from Helen Keller, who reminded us, “Alone we can do so little, but together we can do so much.”

Let’s all strive to make a difference in the lives of others. By doing so, we make a difference in our own. Here’s wishing you and the people you love—and those who love you back—the happiest of holidays.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Civility rising!

I have always been an optimist! As a child, I dreamed of playing second base for the Chicago Cubs. I imagined myself deftly scooping up ground balls like a Hoover vacuum and whipping the ball to turn a double—or even triple—play. No one ever told me I couldn’t become the next great major-league infielder. As an adolescent, I dreamed of attending Harvard University, being first in my class, and becoming our country’s first female president. No one ever told me I couldn’t become the leader of the free world.

As a young adult, I dreamed I could change the world. Working with challenging and violent youth, as a member of an adolescent mental-health team, reinforced my belief that a strength-based approach to treatment, mixed with a little bit of luck, often resulted in positive life changes in our clients. A core belief of our team was, to give up hope is to give up everything. We believed that each adolescent deserved another chance, and it was our goal to make it happen. Hope was the glue that kept us going and inspired us to keep fighting the good fight. No one ever told me to lower my expectations or to let go of my unlimited idealism. Instead, I was encouraged by nearly everyone around me to dream big and believe in something greater than myself.

Today, in my middle-adult years, I find myself still burning with passionate optimism and believing that things can and will get better, that faith and being open to possibilities are part of my DNA. I am a firm believer in amplifying the civility conversation to strengthen the human infrastructure of civility and respect and to stimulate optimism and hope that relationships matter and that workplaces can be venues of collegiality. To think otherwise is to surrender and admit defeat.

A positive outlook must be balanced, however, with a realistic perspective. I am not naive to the fact that there are challenges many of which may seem insurmountable—sadly, in a few cases, they may be—and that the only way to stay healthy and motivated is to leave that situation, take our passion with us, and infuse it into a more welcoming venue. But most of all, I see pockets of civility rising! They are brave and courageous individuals who refuse to settle for the status quo and, instead, work together to effect change and bring civility into the light. As Louis Brandeis, former U.S. Supreme Court associate justice, stated, “Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants,” meaning that transparency matters and that raising awareness about our challenges and identifying ways to address them helps shed light on them, thereby making them less prone to continuation. In my view, being open and honest with others is requisite to civility. Organizations that embrace and encourage a free flow of dialogue and communication are masters at creating and sustaining a culture of civility.

Let me share a couple examples of why I believe civility is rising. Each semester, my students and I co-create our classroom norms. This semester, in addition to our usual norms, among others, of engaging in respectful interactions, assuming goodwill, respecting differences, and making thoughtful contributions to the teaching-learning environment, we decided to add modeling the type of nurse each of us aspires to be. When we formally evaluated our classroom norms during midterm, we discovered that we are doing an excellent job of abiding by our norms and staying accountable to them. Certainly, we are not perfect, but by having a clear code of desired behavior, we are coming much closer to being the professional nurse we aspire to be.

Similarly, a group of students from Florida has developed and committed itself to a “civility pledge,” with each student signing a promise to work toward positive behavior. The pledge was presented at the school’s All College Day earlier this semester, and students, faculty members, and administrators signed the document. In doing so, students promised, among other civil interactions, to respect others, listen carefully, celebrate diversity, be considerate of others, advocate for the profession of nursing, and promote collaboration. Making this pledge and living by its code has transformed this group of students. Following their example, other students in the school are planning to make a similar pledge. Wouldn’t it be terrific if all faculty members and students committed themselves to a similar set of principles?

Here’s another example of civility rising. I was recently presenting a workshop to a group of practicing nurses, students, nursing faculty, and other nurse leaders. One of the interactive exercises involved completing the Clark Workplace Civility Index (Clark, 2013), a self-reflective activity designed to raise awareness, inspire conversation, and achieve a better understanding of oneself and others with regard to civility and respectful behavior. This eclectic and engaging group thoroughly immersed themselves in the activity and generated several ideas to foster civility in their various settings.

One of the most intriguing ideas resulting from the exercise had to do with using the index as a model to create a family-specific index that would include desirable civil behaviors within families. I encouraged the person suggesting this to use her creativity and imagination to do just that. What a fantastic idea! It’s amazing what we can do individually and collectively when we allow ourselves to think beyond the usual way of doing things and engage in important and provocative discussions on issues that matter.

A final note: A subhead in a recent Time magazine article (Newton-Small, 2013) describing the relationship among some of the women in the U.S. Senate declared, “Civility Above All.” The piece reinforced the importance of establishing norms and adhering to rules of civility. What a wonderful concept!

Reference:

Clark, C.M. (2013). Creating & sustaining civility in nursing education. Indianapolis, IN: Sigma Theta Tau International.

Newton-Small, J. (2013, October 16). Women are the only adults left in Washington. Time.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Organizational culture matters

Just before the current semester began, I received a phone call from a nursing professor exuding delight about her new faculty appointment. In her enthusiasm and joy, she exclaimed, “I just accepted the most remarkable faculty position. The school has a civility statement, a code for respectful behavior and interactions, and, most of all, members of the campus community actually live by their code of civility and shared values. I can hardly wait to get started!”

I was delighted for my friend and for the students who will reap the benefits of such a rich, engaged teaching-learning environment. After congratulating her, I asked, “What courses will you be teaching?” I laughed out loud when she responded, “Who cares? I’m just so excited to be part of such an incredible experience. I am happy to teach anything!”

Our conversation validated one of my foundational beliefs about workplaces—that culture trumps everything. In other words, no matter how wonderful one’s job description, it pales if the workplace is unhealthy, toxic, or uncivil. It is important for workplaces to have a vision and mission statement, with explicit reference to civility and respect. If an organization lacks such a reference, it is unlikely it will live by these essential values. There must be an established and reciprocal trust between the leaders and all members of the organization—including students, if it’s an educational environment. Each member must be viewed as an asset and appreciated for the value he or she brings to the workplace.

Healthy workplaces embody emotional safety, and they create and encourage “safe spaces” for dialogue and meaningful conversation. Such organizations recruit the best and the brightest and, more importantly, make every effort to retain them. Healthy workplaces exude high morale, job satisfaction, collegiality, and high-performing teamwork. Respectful communication and shared decision-making is evident. In healthy organizations, trust is the glue that holds it together, civility its lifeblood, and leadership at all levels the heart that pumps it throughout the organization.

Often, I hear people say that lack of civility and organizational trust is not necessarily a problem if it involves only one or two individuals within the organization. I beg to differ. Think about it this way: If multiple small incisions occur in an organism, it will eventually bleed out, causing its demise. The same is true for organizations. Even if there are only one or two toxic members in the organization, the results can be devastating and far-reaching.

And what if the one or two uncivil individuals hold formal leadership positions and their uncivil acts include an abuse of power? Such behavior can drastically change the organizational culture and have a serious impact on people and the bottom line. According to Porath and Pearson (2013), managers of Fortune 1000 firms spend 13 percent of their time—the equivalent of seven weeks a year—dealing with the aftermath of incivility. In some cases, the financial cost can be ruinous.

So what can we do to create cultures of civility? Here are a few ideas.

First, each member of the organization, including leaders, needs to take a candid and thoughtful look in the mirror, making an honest and accurate inventory of how well he or she is behaving and interacting with others in the organization. This assessment includes asking for candid feedback from colleagues, so each member can get a reality check on how he or she is coming across.

Positive and professional role-modeling is also essential to creating and sustaining cultures of civility. Knowing how to effectively communicate and negotiate conflict are essential skills that must be practiced, honed, and utilized. Too often, we avoid addressing issues that matter, thinking that “nothing will change” or that, in doing so, we might make matters worse. Or we simply don’t believe we have the skills needed to successfully address the situation. We need to change our mind-set, harness our courage to learn, and utilize the skills needed to promote a healthy workplace.

However, stepping up, communicating, and addressing conflict are best accomplished in organizations that embrace civility, respect, and transparency. Thus, establishing unambiguous vision and mission statements, statements of shared values, and co-creating behavioral and organizational norms are foundational to healthy workplaces. Positive behavior needs to be reinforced and celebrated. Being recognized for civility and collegiality can be highly motivating and have a significant impact on morale and job satisfaction. Promoting and rewarding interprofessional teamwork and collaborative initiatives can also enhance job fulfillment and deepen esprit de corps.

Unfortunately, in some cases, despite attempts to respectfully address issues of concern and effect positive organizational change, such efforts may fall short—or fall upon deaf ears. When that happens, we need to carefully reflect on the situation and decide whether we will stay in an uncivil workplace or move on.

On the other hand, if you are fortunate enough to be working in a civil, healthy workplace, celebrate and share the good news. Keep up the great work, and tell about your experiences and strategies so others can gain from your successes. Like the nursing professor who excitedly told me about her new job, each of us deserves a wonderful place to work.

Reference:

Porath, C., & Pearson, C. (2013, Jan.-Feb.). The price of incivility: Lack of respect hurts morale and the bottom line. Retrieved from http://hbr.org/2013/01/the-price-of-incivility/

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Leadership, civility, and the magic of Disney

I spent part of my summer vacation immersing myself in the wisdom and, yes, the magic of Disney! I read and studied numerous books on the topic and loved every minute of it. According to its official website, the Disney Institute is “the professional development arm of The Walt Disney Company,” and it offers solutions that “engage organizations in time-tested best practices, sound methodologies, and real-life business lessons that facilitate corporate culture change.”

I have long been intrigued with the lessons from Disney. As a professor, student, and scholar of leadership, I read widely and deeply on the topic. There are many incredible writers and thought leaders on leadership, and I appreciate each and every one of them, but of the many Disney books I read this summer, one stands out as a favorite: Creating Magic: 10 Common Sense Leadership Strategies From a Life at Disney, by Lee Cockerell (2008), former executive vice president of operations at Walt Disney World Resort. Here are some of the lessons I learned from Cockerell, viewed through the lens of civility in academe.

Effective leadership is essential for individual and organizational excellence. It promotes faculty and student satisfaction, a dynamic esprit de corps, and positive recruitment and retention. Leadership is not discreetly synonymous with titles, positions, or pay grades but, rather, is broadly defined and, ultimately, everyone’s responsibility. Whether we are formal or informal leaders, each of us, according to Cockerell, “must do what has to be done, when it has to be done, in the way it should be done, whether [we] like it or not” (p. 15). It means making the right things happen by making sound decisions and bringing out the best in others. This type of leadership is available to—and should be expected—of everyone, because it makes the difference between ordinary and extraordinary organizations.

Genuine and meaningful inclusion is a critical hallmark of effective leadership. The Disney Institute utilizes the RAVE approach to inclusion. RAVE stands for Respect, Appreciate, and Value Everyone. What an amazing concept, and so civility-like! In workplaces where everyone matters and where each person knows and experiences it, great leadership is in full bloom. Leaders who truly listen; who communicate clearly, directly and honestly; and who advocate for all members of the campus community are rock stars among rock stars. As my students often say to me, “Dr. Clark, if we all follow the Golden Rule [which means to treat people as you wish to be treated], it will go a long way in helping people feel special and respected.” By implementing the RAVE approach to inclusion, new faculty members and students will flock to your school, and current ones will not want to leave. In an academic environment where everyone matters, everyone feels valued and appreciated to his or her very core.

Disney also recognizes the value of ARE—Appreciation, Recognition, and Encouragement—as powerful motivators for employee achievement and success. The same can be said for faculty members and students. When leaders—and, I might add, everyone—are extravagant with ARE, when they spread it far and wide, the impact can be remarkable and transforming. On the other hand, in the absence of ARE, performance is halfhearted, effort is mediocre, and satisfaction wanes. Everyone enjoys being recognized for his or her achievements and accomplishments. Consequently, leaders who are generous with showing ARE demonstrate first-rate leadership skills and aptitude.

Creating a culture and academic environment that welcomes creativity, embraces ingenuity, and allows for flexibility gives that workplace an incredible leg up. Disney advances the belief that organizations must make their people their special brand. In other words, people matter to the success of any organization.

As academic leaders seek to hire the best faculty candidates, certain skills must be considered: teaching, clinical (in the case of nursing), and scholarly competence; technological ability; aptitude for innovation; leadership skills; and an unwavering capacity to get along with others. Further, current faculty members and select students need to be involved in the interviewing and selection process. Key questions must be asked to vet the candidate in terms of level of civility, ability to get along with others, capacity to collaborate, and potential as a trusted and valued colleague. I have adapted from Cipriano (2011) two legally acceptable questions—not in conflict, for example, with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA)— that get to the root of these essential traits:

1. In what areas do you have the least amount of patience in working with colleagues? How do you deal with your impatience? Give examples. 
2. If we asked your colleagues to describe your strengths and weaknesses in the areas of collaboration and communication with others (students, colleagues, administration), what would they say? Give examples. 

Every member of the campus community must be fully steeped in the vision, mission, and shared values of the college or university. More importantly, each person must understand the meaning of these statements and live them to the fullest. We are all role models. For better or worse, first impressions matter, and we have scant time to make a positive impression. In fact, first impressions are often made at lightning speed.

During the precious nanoseconds that we meet someone for the first time, he or she registers myriad impressions about us. Many impressions are made in a matter of seconds (and often kept). Therefore, it’s critically important to make a positive, professional impression. In my book Creating & Sustaining Civility in Nursing Education, I identify some common characteristics of civil role modeling. They include being contemplative and humble, respectful, collegial and empowering, trustworthy and honest, responsible and accountable, self-assured without being self-important, and engaging in healthy stress management strategies.

Great leaders are always in learning mode. They learn by walking around, conversing with others, and seeking to understand what’s happening on the ground level of the organization. They spend significant time with faculty and students, engage in meaningful conversations, and constantly evaluate and seek to improve the culture of the workplace. They try to catch others doing something right and publicly acknowledge those achievements in public forums. They recognize and encourage fresh and new ideas, set high standards for performance, and expect results. They lead by modeling the way, promoting collaboration and problem solving, and fostering a lasting culture of civility and respect. Great leaders know what they stand for, advance the core values of the organization; and live by those values every day. They are respectful, sensitive, and never humiliate anyone. Perhaps most importantly, they make time for relaxation and fun, and generously encourage others to do the same.

Applying these Disney principles is not easy; it takes determination, resolve and, perhaps most of all, strong and effective leadership. It means not taking one’s eye off the ball. It means keeping respect and civility at the center of the academic culture. There is no such thing as a perfect organization, but applying some of the Disney principles to our academic workplaces can result in greater faculty and student satisfaction, reduced turnover and, maybe, just maybe, our work environments can begin to resemble the happiest places on earth!

References:
Cipriano, R. (2011). Facilitating a collegial department in higher education: Strategies for success. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

Clark, C.M. (2013). Creating & sustaining civility in nursing education, Indianapolis, IN: Sigma Theta Tau International.

Cockerell, L. (2008). Creating magic: 10 common sense leadership strategies from a life at Disney, New York, NY: Doubleday Publishing Group.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

10 strategies for a successful doctoral program

It’s summertime, and many nurse faculty members enrolled in doctoral programs are very busy. The lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer are not so lazy for those colleagues of ours who are immersed in graduate coursework and dissertation studies. Their diligence and enthusiasm prompt the subject of this post: How does one survive the rigors and demands of pursuing a doctoral degree? In response, I offer my top 10 strategies for a successful doctoral program experience.

First, I want to underscore that researching and writing a sound dissertation or scholarly project can be a daunting undertaking. It is a time-consuming, labor-intensive process that requires exploring and organizing evidence related to a body of knowledge, and arranging associated discussions and arguments into a coherent, readable document. The overall goal is to communicate your scientific discovery or practice application, demonstrating a capacity for critical and engaged thinking. This is commonly achieved by reading broadly and deeply, by analyzing and organizing a comprehensive and thoughtful discussion, and by posing a convincing argument for original ideas.

One of the most important aspects of the doctoral experience—and for me, one of the most joyful—is the student’s relationship with his or her primary adviser. For me, the pleasure and stimulation of scholarly collaboration has never been greater than with the professors on my dissertation committee. Being a member of a community of scholars engaged in meaningful discourse, deep questioning, argument, debate, and social discourse is an incredible high. I encourage all doctoral students to stay in close touch with their community of scholars, learn much, and enjoy the experience.

With Russell Joki, PhD, my dissertation adviser, at my 2006 graduation.

Here are those 10 strategies:

1. Determine your study topic early in your program, and stick to it as much as possible. Work smart and efficiently. Use classes in your program as much as you can to more fully develop your study area. For example, my dissertation topic was civility, so one of the papers I wrote for a course titled “Law and ethics in higher education” was about a case of suspected faculty incivility, in which a senior nursing student alleged that she was publicly and repeatedly demeaned about her obesity and for not conforming to the school image. The case was eventually argued before the U.S. Supreme Court (Russell v. Salve Regina College, 1986).

2. Once you establish your study design, diagram it. One of my committee members once said to me, “If you can’t draw it, you can’t explain it.” Use pictures, diagrams, concept maps, algorithms, or any other method that suits you. Then, write out a detailed narrative that explains your depiction. Share your illustration and associated narrative with anyone who will review it, and ask for input to improve it. Revisit and revise it often. Similarly, it’s helpful to make a strategic plan, logic model, or map of your study that includes a projected timeline and resources needed to achieve each item. Share your plan with your primary adviser and others who will help keep you accountable and on track. Set deadlines and keep them. Even if you have not completed a specific requirement, you will likely come close.

3. Visualize your goals! I used to visualize myself at graduation, surrounded by friends and family, being hooded with the most glorious and colorful hood imaginable. A bit silly perhaps, but it worked for me, especially during down times or when I felt discouraged. Visualization is a powerful tool; use it to the fullest!

4. Select an excellent committee, and don’t be afraid to redesign your committee or replace members, if necessary. This is your program and your study. Assert yourself, and speak confidently about what you need and expect.

5. Read, read some more, and keep on reading! When reviewing the literature, start with the “Dissertation Abstracts” database. Each published dissertation will have an updated and comprehensive “review of literature” (R of L). Use it to begin your own review. Read books, not just journal articles. Some of the greatest sentinel works are published in books. Constantly update your R of L. (You will have two reviews, one on your topic area and one on your research method.) When studying your topic, look for gaps in the literature, what still needs to be studied. What about the topic ignites your scholarly juices? How will you study your topic? Begin developing your research questions, and remember, your questions determine the design—not the other way around.

6. Set up a data management system—both hard copy and efile—that works for you, and constantly back up your computer files. Keep your hard-copy files in a safe, fireproof place. Save your work in efolders and three-ring binders that are clearly and precisely labeled. Don’t throw anything away, not even after you complete your dissertation, as you may want those resources for additional publications or presentations. Also, the Federal Wide Assurance Code of Federal Regulations requires that data files be kept securely for three years.

7. Consult experts and non-experts, and ask everyone who shows interest in your work for input and opinions. Don’t be afraid to ask the heavyweights in the field for opinions and advice. Stay connected to your committee members. Get feedback from people in other disciplines. Carry a calendar, always have your next meeting scheduled, and keep the meeting!

8. Write every day, even if it’s only a paragraph or two. Start anywhere in the writing process, and keep writing. Keep excellent editors close, and use their suggestions. Peer review is integral to great writing. Ten to 20 revisions of a piece are about average.

9. Put up a NO sign, or download an app on your smartphone that reads NO. Craft a short script to recite when someone asks you to take on a project or initiative. You may not always be able to say no, especially if the request is job or family-related, but be careful not to say yes just because you think you ought to or because the project interests you. You will have lots of time after your dissertation is completed to say yes. Practice phrases such as, “It sounds interesting, but I need to say no. Perhaps we can work together in the future, when I can give your request the time and energy it deserves.”

10. Maintain balance in your life. Find what gives you joy and, whatever it is, keep doing it. Graduate with yourself and your spirit intact. Celebrate along the way, and be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to do what is needed to live your life. Stay plugged into your family, yourself, the people you love, and the people who love you back! A wise friend once told me, “The most important thing you will get out of your doctoral program is yourself.”

Reference:
Russell v. Salve Regina College, 649 F. Supp 391 (U.S. Supreme Court, 1986).


For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Try a little kindness!

I recently had the exquisite pleasure of attending and presenting at the Creating Healthy Work Environments (CHWE) conference in Indianapolis, Indiana, sponsored by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International. What an incredible conference! I loved being among my peers and thoroughly enjoyed being among like-minded nurse leaders and innovators.

Yours Truly at CHWE conference.

During one of the sessions, I was captivated by the remarks made by Beth Ulrich, EdD, RN, FACHE, FAAN, a senior partner at Innovative Health Resources and editor of Nephrology Nursing Journal. Among her many achievements, Ulrich and her colleague, Peter Buerhaus, PhD, RN, FAAN, Valere Potter Professor of Nursing at Vanderbilt University, have been researching and trending nursing workforce data for a number of years. I took several notes, jotted down some of the highlights, and shared them with my leadership students upon returning to Boise.

Part of Ulrich’s presentation focused on the need and desire of nurses to be both respected and meaningfully recognized. Interestingly, these concepts—respect and meaningful recognition— are often ill-defined and left to personal interpretation. Following up on this deficiency of definition, I asked my senior nursing students to free write their responses to the following questions: 1) In your opinion, what does it mean to be respected as a nurse? 2) What does it mean to be meaningfully recognized for your work as a nurse?

Back in Boise with my students.

The student responses were illuminating. With regard to the first question, they overwhelmingly reported that they want to be treated as valuable colleagues and vital members of the health care team. They want to have meaningful input into patient-care decisions and their opinions heard, and to be an integral and trusted member of an interprofessional team. Additionally, respect means to be treated with dignity, civility, and kindness.

One student wrote: “I really want to be treated like a professional and to have other health care workers come directly to me with their concerns if they see I need help. I hope they will ask me for input, learn to trust my judgment, and provide me with constructive feedback to help me grow as a professional nurse.”

Another wrote: “I know it will take time, but I hope to enjoy a high level of respect by having my ideas carefully considered and not dismissed completely out of hand. I don’t want to be talked down to, belittled, or ignored. I want to instill confidence in my patients and co-workers.”

Another student summed it up this way: “Please show me kindness, value my contributions, teach me without malice, and be mindful of my need for time off—please don’t call me into work when you know I’m exhausted and need to refuel—and I promise to always do my best.”

Respect means taking time to really listen and giving someone our full attention. I recently heard Naomi Judd express the following, “What we really need is not a good talkin’ to but, instead, a good listenin’ to.” My students and I couldn’t agree more. As one student noted, “Respect is allowing another person to completely and fully express their ideas with a genuine attempt to understand, and doing so without bias or judgment.”

As to the second question about meaningful forms of recognition, the vast majority of my students expressed a desire to be acknowledged by their patients, co-workers, and other members of the health care team. They want the acknowledgement to be specific and personalized—not just a generalized “Good job!” Others described meaningful recognition as being sought out by their peers and being appreciated as a valuable team member. Only a few mentioned salary increases as a mean of recognition, while others wanted organizational support and opportunities for advancement to achieve their career goals.

This free-write assignment provided an excellent platform for group discussion and conversation. In fact, some students wanted to know how I would respond to the two questions. To me, respect is a mutual process where people—including me—act with grace, candor, appreciation, and consideration. It means treating people with dignity and living by the “Civility Wisdom” described in my recent book, Creating & Sustaining Civility in Nursing Education (Clark, 2013, p. 207)—to practice forgiveness, express gratitude, affirm others, exceed expectations, address unkindness, and stand for something good. To me, meaningful recognition is a reciprocal process where genuine gratitude is expressed and where self and others are acknowledged for their ideas and contributions. Meaningful recognition is a basic, fundamental human need and vital to our inherent sense of self-worth.

Shortly after class, a student came by my office and told me she had been deeply affected by our class discussion. She said, when she graduates and begins her nursing career, she plans to ask her co-workers how they perceive respect and how each of them would like to be meaningfully recognized, and then she plans to follow-through.

What strikes me most about my students’ comments is the simplicity and elegance of their responses and how, in nearly every case, respect and recognition cost nothing in terms of dollars and cents. Instead, respect and recognition are mostly about displays of kindness and consideration, and honest acknowledgement of a job well done. Perhaps each of us can learn from our students, colleagues, and nurses in practice by asking our selves and each other, what does it mean to be respected and meaningfully recognized? And then, how will we demonstrate both?

Reference: 

Clark, C.M. (2013). Creating & sustaining civility in nursing education, Indianapolis, IN: Sigma Theta Tau International.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Keep dancing!

Last summer, my husband Greg and I traveled to northern Idaho to explore, hiking and biking some the most incredible and scenic trails in the country. We bicycled the Route of the Hiawatha, riding through tunnels that required headlamps and crossing railroad trestles so spectacular that the views took our breath away. We hiked and biked more than a hundred miles along the Trail of the Coeur d’Alenes, where we saw moose, an elk with her baby, a vast variety of water fowl—including the amazing Great Blue Heron—and an assortment of other wildlife.

Greg and Cindy Clark

We also explored mining towns and the unique splendor of the Silver Valley. One day, we visited Coeur d’Alene’s Old Mission State Park, which contains the oldest standing building in Idaho, constructed in the mid-1800s by Jesuit missionaries and members of the Coeur d’Alene Tribe. While visiting the mission, we discovered an amazing poem written by a Bitterroot Salish tribal elder Debra Magpie Earling. The poem, titled “We Dance,” reads in part:

We dance for our families

We dance for those who cannot dance

We dance for our babies and our elders

We dance in memory of all those who have left us and can no longer join us in the dance

So, when dancing becomes difficult, keep dancing

When your feet fall heavy on the ground—dance harder

Dance for your people, dance for all living things, and dance for yourself.

To me, the poem is a testament to the human spirit—a declaration of the ability to persevere, remain steadfast and, ultimately, succeed in the face of adversity and challenges. Not surprisingly, there are people among us—including our students—who epitomize this capacity. To illustrate, I share a story I wrote about a person who not only perseveres, but does so with humility and grace.

It was nearly midday on a bitterly cold and windy Friday, the last official day of winter break. The new semester was scheduled to begin the following week. Very soon, students would flood the campus with chatter and excitement, ready for another term of learning and moving one step closer to commencement and starting a new career. But it was Friday, and I was super-busy. It was nearly time for me to facilitate a class on civility for the new, incoming nursing students.

I was excited to meet them, get to know them, and begin our ongoing conversation about civility. I was just getting ready to head out the door, when I was greeted by a nursing student, who was entering his senior year. I’ll call him Dom (not his real name). He was on campus that day looking for information about the new background-check policy, which required all students enrolled in a particular clinical course to be fingerprinted. His knowledge about the new policy was somewhat limited and, unfortunately, so was mine. We sought advice from one of my colleagues, who informed us that the fingerprinting had to be done in a specific location. We called the office in question and were advised that students must arrive no later than 5 p.m., when the office closed for the day.

The office was about 13 miles from campus—26 miles round-trip. The temperature hovered around 10 degrees and, with the wind chill factored in, it felt below zero and was nearly unbearable. This is an important part of the story, because Dom does not own a car. In fact, he relies solely on his bicycle for transportation. I would have gladly given him a ride, but I was due in new-student orientation in less than 10 minutes. Clearly, he could not ride his bike that day, so we looked for other faculty members or students who would be able to transport Dom. With classes not in session and the campus nearly deserted, we decided that bus transportation was the best option, so we quickly logged onto the computer to look for the best route. We were still checking when it was time for me to get to class, so I said farewell to Dom and wished him well.

Later that evening, I text-messaged Dom to see how he had fared and was flabbergasted to learn he had ridden his bike to the fingerprinting office. Not finding a suitable bus route that would get him to the office on time and knowing that, without being fingerprinted, he would be unable to attend his first day of clinical, Dom muscled through the freezing temperatures and biting wind because, to do otherwise would have put him “in the hole,” so to speak, before his classes even began.

It’s a riveting example of tenacity and perseverance. What I haven’t told you is that Dom is an international student, working hard to assimilate into American society and achieve academically in an unfamiliar educational system. For Dom, as with so many other nursing students, money is tight. Sometimes, I wonder if he rode his bicycle that day because there was no bus was available, or if it was because he lacked sufficient funds to pay the fare. Whatever the reason, Dom’s story is one of determination, resolve, and an unimpeachable work ethic. A motivating lesson to be sure.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Attention, page turners, tappers and swipers!

I grew up among a family of readers. I have deep and vivid mental images of my father relaxing in his slightly tattered recliner and reading books ranging from Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People to Homer’s The Iliad and The Odyssey, epic poems about the siege of Troy and the return home, 10 years after the Trojan War, of the Greek hero Odysseus.

My mother, on the other hand, loved fiction. With a book propped open on the kitchen counter, she would read while cooking supper or fulfilling any number of motherly responsibilities. My big sister was and is an avid reader who peruses works that encompass an extensive span of genres.

Click photo to order.

As a teenager, my favorite books included biographies of famous sports figures like Lou Gehrig, Knute Rockne, and Cassius Clay (before he became Mohammed Ali). I enjoyed sports biographies so much that, finally, my high school English teacher declared, “Enough, Cindy, you need to expand your horizons!” and would not accept any more reports from me about books based on sports figures. As I reflect on that time—and my teacher’s mandate—I am grateful for her insistence that I broaden my taste for books, because I started reading just about everything I could get my hands on.

Years later, I met my father-in-law, who always seemed to have a book in hand. When visiting, he would arrive with an extra suitcase filled with his beloved books. He enjoyed a wide variety of subjects, and I loved the way his glasses perched on the end of his nose as he read, how he marked the pages with a folded corner and then entered notes in the margins with his thick, black, felt pen. Even more, I basked in the conversation that ensued as we discussed the author and his or her thesis. It didn’t matter what the subject matter was; what mattered more was the banter and repartee that filled the room and the mind-stimulating dialogue.

As a child and, later, as I grew into adulthood, I hoped to be an author someday, not an author of just any book but one that made a difference in the lives of others. My mother believed I would write a book for children, because I love to tell stories that delight the young of heart. I always thought that my mother was right, so who would have thought I would write a book for colleagues?

When the publishers of Sigma Theta Tau International contacted me with the prospect of authoring a book on “fostering civility in nursing education,” I was a bit taken aback, but not for long, because I soon realized I had been writing just such a book in my head for a long time. I couldn’t wait to put my stories and thoughts down on the pages of a manuscript that has now become a published book with the title Creating and Sustaining Civility in Nursing Education. What a thrill! I wrote the book with you in mind—nurse educators who each and every day rise to the challenge of educating and mentoring our students and future nursing workforce.

I must admit, I love the feel and smell of an old tome, cracking the binding and turning the pages of a book to discover unlimited possibilities, experiencing an incredible intellectual or entertaining journey that transports me to any place my mind can travel. Now, I invite you to experience the feel and smell of a new tome and to have fun delving into a book that offers myriad ideas and reflections on ways to foster civility in nursing education, your lives, and beyond. Enjoy the journey!

Oh, you prefer E-books? Well, start downloading!

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Meet Stolle: An educator's educator

There is a compelling quote from an unknown source that immediately centers me when I consider the power of positive role modeling and the importance of a life well lived: “I strive to be the person my dog believes I am.” Dog lovers know exactly what this means. The lessons we learn from our furry friends have a lasting impact and make an indelible imprint on our lives.

We have an assortment of shelter pets—dogs and cats—that others have thoughtlessly tossed along the roadside, both literally and figuratively. One of them, Stolle (STOW-lee), is an Australian shepherd and border collie mix. She is named after Stolle Meadow, an incredibly beautiful mountain meadow nestled near the South Fork of Idaho’s wild and spectacular Salmon River, a magical place where visitors and local hikers watch chinook salmon spawn in late summer.

Stolle

Our Stolle is pretty magical. too. We rescued her from the local animal shelter when she was 7 months old. It was clear from the outset that someone had mistreated her, perhaps badly. Initially, she acted afraid most of the time—cowering, skittish around strangers, especially terrified of men. I remember very clearly the day the cable guy came to hook up our TV. As he exited his truck and approached our door, Stolle nearly came unglued. Although frightened to the point of panic, she nonetheless fiercely defended her home and family. Despite her fear of others, Stolle loved us from the beginning.

We’ve learned many life lessons from Stolle during the short time we’ve owned her—she just turned 2 years old—as we have from all of our other dogs, past and present. It’s easy to lose sight of what’s important in our lives, but dogs keep us on track, mindful of life’s treasures. Yes, misfortunes occur and hardships happen, but it’s how we deal with such matters that makes us strong, our lives memorable.

Our dogs have taught me to bark less and wag more often. They have shown us that life is an adventure worth living and that it is a privilege to be loved by a canine friend. Having a dog reminds me that it is OK—if not mandatory—to have fun and to take life a little less seriously; to play more and enjoy the thrill of the outdoors, no matter the weather; that snow is meant to be tossed exuberantly into the air with one’s nose and that newly raked leaves are fair game for jumping and diving and finding out what’s underneath that cushion of color. Being a dog is synonymous with going for the gusto. No matter how old we are, in people years or dog years, we can choose to be youthful and playful—puppies at heart.

Our canine friends remind us in so many ways that life doesn’t need to be so complicated or complex. They teach us the importance of simplifying and decluttering our lives—to take lots of naps; to curl up by the fire with a favorite toy or person; to spend lots of quiet, lazy days lying in the sunshine with your belly in the air. Stolle makes me strive to be a better person; a better wife and mother; a better teacher and friend; really, a better everything. She is a faithful and loyal friend who loves us unconditionally and guards us with her very life. Dogs are more than dogs—they are the epitome of caring and compassion.

Stolle has a warm and sheltered place to relax, but she chooses to wait, sometimes in pouring rain, drenched to the bone, anticipating the sound of our vehicle coming up the lane, signaling our arrival home. Jumping for joy, her enthusiasm and excitement is a sight to behold and a heartwarming delight. At the end of a busy day, it’s the perfect, love-filled greeting to come home to. Dogs are always happy to see us, even when we leave for only a few minutes. Stolle reminds us to slow down, pay attention, and take delight in life’s simple pleasures. Often, they are what bring us the greatest joy.

The time will come when Stolle will leave this earthly place. It won’t be easy to say good-bye. We have bid farewell to several loyal and treasured furry friends over the years, and it is one of life’s most difficult moments. Mack, our beloved Labrador retriever, lived to a ripe old age of 15 years. Putting him down was terribly sad. We still miss him and cherish our memories of one of the best dogs ever to grace our lives. I am comforted in my belief that there is a special place in heaven for dogs like Mack and Stolle—loving, affectionate, and kind friends who inspire me to be the person they believe I am.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.